Psalm 62:8 "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."
I waited quietly for Him Friday night in the floor of my hotel room. Well, to be more specific, I was in the little "hallway" between the closet and the sink in my hotel room. It was midnight, after all, and my husband was getting some much needed rest in the other side of the room. It was the night before The Pearl Event II, the women's event that I was to lead worship for (and that my husband was videoing). Two hundred and fifty women all looking at me to lead them in worship. I knew I could not do it without Him. I also knew I had not decided on how much to sell my little album that I had worked so hard to put together for the conference. I was waiting on Him but I could not seem to get a clear answer.
I am a mom to three beautiful kiddos. Sophie is five, Micah is three and Noah is one. And mommy is busy. I'm sure I'm the only one in the world with this problem but I just have a hard time nailing down that one-on-one time with my Jesus. Oh sure, we have our moments. They usually happen when I'm in the shower or when I'm carting my children somewhere in my van; those times when you're on auto-pilot and you can spare some brain cells to pray and perhaps hear an "I love you" from the Father. I hang on those moments. I'm starting to get better at listening for His voice throughout the day; waiting on His leading before I head in a certain direction. But when it comes down to making a big decision, I've got to hear Him...really hear Him. And, I don't know about you, but I find it hard to hear clearly when the thing I'm asking about is at the forefront of my mind.
Take my pricing dilemma. I know it might seem trivial to some but this was huge to me. Not only is it my first EP so every part of making it is new to me, but also I had to decide how much it was worth; how much I was worth. I had decided on a certain number in the beginning but had a few friends tell me it was way too low. Then I talked to my good friend, Suzy. She came up with the craziest idea. Get ready for this. She suggested I ask Jesus how much to sell it for. What?? Shouldn't I ask some experts or do a poll to see how much people would want to pay? You mean the God of the universe actually cares about how much I sell this little CD for? Yes, He does. He cares about every area of our lives. You see, this wasn't just about putting worth on a CD. It was about Him saying, "I'm going to supply all of your needs according to MY riches in glory." He was reminding me that I'm worth a lot to Him.
So, I really wanted to know what His opinion was but every time I would pray about it I kept getting mixed messages, going back and forth between a price that one person suggested or another price that a different person suggested, and I could never get peace about a certain number. Really, any of them would have been just fine with me but I knew that He wanted to speak to me about this and I really, really, really wanted to know what He had to say. Here's what I'm learning about hearing God's voice clearly. If the issue that you're asking about is bigger in your mind than He is, you are probably not going to hear clearly because His voice has to come through the filter of your issue. I hope I'm making sense here. You see, the issue of how much to sell my CD for had become so big in my mind that when I was asking God about it, I had to wade through the thought of my issue in order to get to God. I just needed that alone time with Him; to focus on all that He is; to gaze upon the loveliness of Jesus; to hear Him reassure me that He has me in the palm of His hand.
So, there I was in the room of the hotel where the event was taking place and I was finally alone with Him. No kiddos. No dishes to clean. No distractions. I took out my journal and wrote a little prayer then I waited. All of a sudden, in my mind I saw "Psalm 62:8". I did not recognize this Psalm so I turned to it and I started reading from the beginning (just because I love the Psalms). The first two verses read, "My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." Wow. I felt such a confirmation that I was indeed in the right place. Then I read verse 8. "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." What a promise. What a truth to hold on to. He is trustworthy. He cares about what we care about. He is a refuge, a safe place. Then I went back to my journal and wrote down everything I heard Him speak to me. None of it was about the CD price but I didn't care. I knew He was back in the place where He belonged: first. I knew He loved me and cared for me and that He was in control.
I went to bed that night with such a beautiful peace. I got some much needed sleep. Heavenly uninterrupted sleep. When I woke up the next morning, before I even opened my eyes, the first picture I saw in my mind was Jesus. He was holding my CD in his hands and He was hugging it dearly showing me that He loved it so much. Then He turned it around and showed me the front. On it was written a price. I had my answer.
God is so good. He really does care about every single moment in your life. There is not one thing that goes unnoticed. There is not one thing that He sees as trivial. If it's important to you, it's important to Him. If you are willing, He can give you an amazing perspective on your situation. But in order to see or hear clearly, I would encourage you to let Him wash over you with the truth of who He is and how much He loves you. It will put Him in first place above every thing you face, whether it be a decision you need to make or a disease that is threatening your body or a bill you don't know how you're going to pay. He really does know what to do about it and He really does care. Let Jesus speak to you today about your situation. Find a moment to get quiet before Him. Focus on all that He is. Tune into the spontaneous thoughts and pictures that come to mind. Start writing them down and more will flow.
Blessings on your journey with Him today. Grace to you!